Cracker Ass Comedy - Online Comedy Broadcasting. Cardiff

Some people think it’s great. The New York Times reviewed the book with one word, "Wow." Other reviewers disagree with this review, calling it “shit”.

The Da Vinci Turd sold many copies

I am that other reviewer. I did not find myself saying “wow” I did find myself throwing the book down in disgust. I enjoy a good book and I get a sick pleasure from reading awful books, but the Da Vinci Code offered me nothing but a feeling of disappointment and despair, like wanting porn and all you can get is Nuts magazine.

It got a lot of people back into books though, and for that it should be commended. However, what’s the point of getting into books that are as dull as this pile of excrement? There are millions of books out there on subjects as diverse as “Who’s who in Barbed Wire” (Rabbit Ear publishing, 1970) and “Heroic Virgins” (Alfonso P. Santos, 1977) so why read Dan Brown?

Tosser, Smith.

Looking for some fiction with a macho and unforgettably named hero? Try “Tosser, Gunman” (Frank Carr, Ward, Lock and co, 1939)
“Gee! If it ain’t Tosser Smith. What are you doin’ in this neck of the country? The cook stiffened as through his brain flashed the recollection of his recent attitude towards his visitor. His mouth became curiously dry. Tosser Smith, gunman, killer, outlaw. He’d heard tell that Tosser had killed more men than any other gunman known to the country. Betty’s fingers gripped her skirt tightly…she, too, had heard of Tosser Smith” Sounds great, eh?

Orange Peel Frog

Bored? Maybe you’re looking for some lifestyle ideas? Why not try “The Champion Orange Peeler” by A.B. Henn(strand, 1899) which demonstrates how to make extraordinary patterns, faces, crowns, animals and pyramids out orange peel. Or possibly you’d like to try “Frolic and Fun with Eggshells by Meredith Nugent (Girl’s realm, 1903) which claims “ After trying some of the schemes here suggested, you will find the fun is not only rollicking, but well nigh inexhaustible” A bold claim to make about egg shells.

Old, old gay porn Enid Blyton was a hardcore fan

My personal favourites are those that hark back to a more innocent time. Books such as “Cocktugs. A short history of the Liverpool Screw Towing company (W.B.Hallam, 1963) or “Enid Blytons Gay story book” (hodder and Stoughton 1946).

But I think I’ll leave with you my favourite quote from any book I’ve ever read, “Invisible Dick”by Frank Topham, 1926. ‘”Jeehosaphat! What a disgraceful scene!” said Dick Brett, doing a series of physical jerks behind a bush, as he began to grow into visibility.’

Bush reads! Well it said Bush in the last paragraph.

I hope that this shows the diversity of books available and that no matter how bored you are, you don’t have to read shit like the Da Vinci Code.

Dan Mitchell - 06/11/06

Hate mail, comments, contributions and spam may be sent to send@crackerasscomedy.com or better still, go to the forum

If you're a huge fan of the movie Office Space like me, I advise you to have a gander at this video ...

Talk about this video

John Denver could have used this guy in the pilot seat ...

Talk about this video

It takes a minute before he busts a rhyme but it's sooooo worth the wait. I present Denny 'Blazin' Hazen, Average Homeboy ...

Talk about this video

Hate mail, comments, contributions and spam may be sent to send@crackerasscomedy.com or better still, go to the forum

Dan and Neil, In your eyes 10 . If you've had a bad week maybe we can help. While you're listening, touch the screen and feel how our comedy medicine replenishes your aura. You are an amazing person. You are an amazing person. Though you've got a weird nose...

Hate mail, comments, contributions and spam may be sent to send@crackerasscomedy.com or better still, go to the forum.

Come join Cracker Ass Comedy on a journey through TV (3mins)

Talk about this video

The Cracker ass comedy auditions get off to a great start...

Slammo

Hate mail, comments, contributions and spam may be sent to send@crackerasscomedy.com or better still, go to the forum

Ever had to fill out a questionnaire for a company you hated? One of our readers had the unfortunate experience of having to fill one out for 32redpoker.

Some guy emailed this audio clip to me this week. An Indian chap gets duped into admitting an affair to his wife on a radio show...

Hate mail, comments, contributions and spam may be sent to send@crackerasscomedy.com or better still, go to the forum.

Fedde Le Grand hold the top spot this week with 'Put your hands up for Detroit'.

Hate mail, comments, contributions and spam may be sent to send@crackerasscomedy.com or better still, go to the forum.